Most of us have manufactured a false self to replace our original, true self: our soul. We begin to build this false self from an early age as we learn from those who take care of us - in particular our mother, or primary caretaker - that some of our behaviour is unacceptable, wrong or bad. By a system of reward and withdrawal of what we want and need, or reward and punishment, we are conditioned to adjust, or completely change, our natural, instinctive way of behaving and responding. In this way, we gradually replace all of the “unacceptable” parts of our original identity, with a false, but acceptable, identity.

As infants, for example, our instinct is to cry when we want something, and to keep on crying until our needs and desires are satisfied. If our crying is rewarded by us getting what we want, then we’ll carry on with this behaviour because it’s successful from our point of view. If we are chastised or punished when we cry, or simply endure a withdrawal of attention and affection, then we learn not to cry, it’s as simple as that. We change our behaviour, change who we are, in order to get what we need.

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Only our soul can guide us towards our true destiny: the life we were meant to live when we were born. Often referred to as our true, authentic self, our soul knows what kind of life will make us feel whole and complete. Unfortunately, for most of us, this original, natural, self, has been buried under layer upon layer of social conditioning, programming and learned, “unnatural” behaviour, responses, desires and needs.

Instead of an authentic self we have a false self, a self that suits the requirements of others and the larger society we are a part of. If we are ever to fulfill our true potential, feel whole and complete within ourselves, or reach enlightenment, we need to begin searching for our “lost” soul. Read the rest of this entry »