Being Busy Is Not Being Honest

                                                                                                    By PENELOPE  TRUNK

Let’s abolish the word “busy.”

We all have the same 24 hours to fill. Everyone’s are filled with something.

The difference is that the “busy” people feel frenetic during those hours. Those of you who walk around telling everyone how busy you are, get a grip. Make some choices and calm down.

There’s a big difference between a busy day and a full day. The former is so frantic that you aren’t effective.

1. Recognize that a frenetic life is a life half lived. You should aim for “Flow,” a concept from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a professor of psychology and education at the University of Chicago and author of the book “Good Business: Leadership, Flow, and the Making of Meaning.” Flow is a unique state of mind where productivity and creativity are at their highest. Csikszentmihalyi says that Flow generates the grand ideas, phenomenal work, and intense, rewarding experiences that people identify with happiness.

Flow occurs when you are fully present and engaged in what you are doing; the concept of time melts away in a commitment to the goal-oriented activity. This feeling requires being occupied and engaged for uninterrupted chunks of your day without ever thinking that you’re rushed for time. People who are busy do not get this feeling.

2. Recognize that you are addicted to being busy. You like what being busy does for you.

Being busy gives you an excuse for poor performance. It gives you a way to ignore parts of your life that are falling apart and need attention.

Many people mistakenly feel that being busy means you’re doing things that are important. But it really means you’re not in control. A full day, rather than a busy one, means planning and prioritizing.

3. Prioritize. This does not mean making a to-do list. Nor does it mean making a list of career goals. You need to list what you want in life.

This is because being an adult means making choices. It means admitting that we cannot do everything and choosing to devote the time we have to what’s most important. By scheduling your days with more things than you can accomplish, you are not taking control of your life. You’re letting chance take control. Chance will dictate what gets done because you refuse to prioritize.

4. Learn to say no. Whenever someone asks you to do something, be ready to say no. Your priorities at work, home, and during your personal and networking time should be clear.

Do not worry that you’ll hurt someone’s feelings by saying no. To do something well, you must be focused. That takes self-discipline. But when you say yes to please someone, it shows you lack the ability to be focused. Saying no is a gift to the people and projects that are the priorities in your life.

You do not automatically have to say yes to everything you’re asked to do at work, either. Your boss establishes your priorities. If she then gives you work that would compromise those priorities, you can refuse (with an explanation). Sticking to the plan will makes you look smart and committed.

5. Change how you talk. Stop saying that you’re busy. Say you can’t bear to give up your dreams, or say overscheduling yourself veils your fear of underperformance. You need to say something more honest than you’re busy if you want to connect with people, including yourself.

When you have done the first four steps, you will no longer be busy. You will have room to be focused and absorbed in your work and goals. Then, when someone says, “How have you been?” you will have something more interesting and engaging to say than “busy.”

Penelope Trunk