Throwing off the Control of the Ego.

At some stage in our journey to enlightenment, before we can receive enlightenment* we usually need to undergo a major initiation in which our lower-self personality, passes from being under the control of our ego (the mind-made identity we believe ourselves to be ) and willingly comes under the guidance and leadership of Spirit. This initiation is composed of a series of difficult and painful events which are best described by using the metaphor of Crucifixion, Death and Resurrection. It is, quite simply, a test of our spiritual Mastery, and it only presents itself when we are ready.

When we have emerged from this cycle of events our lower-self personality has been purified of the lower instincts, impulses, desires and emotions, which until this point in our life, have ruled and driven our actions and behaviour.  Once we are free of the misleading influence of our mind-created ego, we are transformed, re-born, as it were, into a freer, more conscious, joyful, creative and powerful version of our former self. We understand our part in the Divine Plan and are in full possession of the skills, abilities and strengths we need to carry it out successfully.  

  How We Become Free of Our Lower Aspects and Weaknesses.

So, the series of events that make up our personal Crucifixion, Death and Resurrection, are challenges, trials and tests which provide our personality with perfect opportunities to become free of our baser, lower aspects and weaknesses. At the same time, these events also enable us to conquer and master our insistence on asserting our individual will. Instead of following our own personal will, we learn the wisdom of choosing to submit consciously to the Higher, Divine Will and so allowing ourselves to come under the leadership and guidance of Spirit, rather than the dominance and control of the ego.

Our experiences during this time teach us that it is wiser and better for us when we choose to follow Spirit: the Divine Will. Instead of listening to the guidance of our ego, which is that loud, insistent voice inside our head that is always talking and commenting and telling us what we should and need to do,  we learn to ignore that voice, and learn to listen to, and follow,  the wiser guidance of Spirit.

After we have completed the tests and trials of this important initiation, we are no longer rivals to God, believing mistakenly that we are in complete control of events, as our ego would have us believe. We see that all along, Spirit has always really been in control, guiding and directing us, opening and closing doors, in order that we may awaken to the truth about who we are and take up our rightful place in the Divine Plan for humanity.

We Learn to Surrender Control and Trust the Guidance of Spirit.

So, through what are often extremely painful experiences we learn to willingly surrender our illusory control over our life and events and place our trust entirely in Spirit. We learn to follow and be guided by Spirit, and as we awaken to a new level of consciousness, we come to perceive that our way of living and behaving has been  severely dysfunctional. We see that only by changing the way we live and behave will we ever succeed in finding the peace, joy and fulfillment we long to experience.  

The Initiation Begins with a Humbling Experience.

 The initiation begins with a humbling experience of some kind. This is an occurrence or event that wounds us deeply on an ego level, shattering the rigidly held image we hold of ourselves, and signalling the beginning of our Passion: the beginning of our suffering. This first wounding can be likened to a scourging, although it isn’t a physical scourging we are being asked to endure, but an emotional and psychological one.  

  During this “scourging” phase, we are forced to confront some very painful truths about our identity, character and behaviour. This marks the beginning of a new level of our spiritual awakening and awareness and the new insights, perception, knowledge and wisdom that we gain about ourselves at this time, can torment us, robbing us of our confidence in our self and our ability to withstand life’s storms.  It is almost too painful to see ourselves so starkly, without our delusions. 

We Need to Let Go of Our Old Notions of Who We Are.

Yet, we suffer primarily because  we are so attached to an idealised, unrealistic set of beliefs about who we are,  beliefs that have excluded everything we think of as “bad” qualities, characteristics or weaknesses, which  we have ascribed to everyone else except ourselves.  Now we are forced to confront, acknowledge and own our dark, unappealing side. This acceptance of all our parts and aspects enables us to drop our harsh judgements and criticisms of others; to be more compassionate and accepting about human nature.

Despite the massive undermining of our confidence that occurs during this period, it’s important to remember that we are only presented with this particular initiation process when we have attained the necessary strength of character in order to pass through it successfully. In practical terms, this means that we have evolved to  a level in which we can endure what seems unmerited, indeed, unjust suffering, with a relative degree of calm stoicism. It is a spiritual law that none of us are given more suffering than we are able to cope with, so even in the midst of our suffering we have no wish or will to lash out at anyone, or  to make anyone else suffer simply because we  ourselves are in pain. Instead, we endure and accept, having evolved -  sometimes without even recognising that we have done so -  beyond the aggressive, destructive, retaliatory impulses of our lower, instinctual self.

The next stage in this unfolding drama is that we find ourselves (often unjustly)  on the receiving end of some form of contemptuous, deeply wounding treatment or words. This represents our crown of thorns and allows us to demonstrate fortitude at a time when no external comfort or reassurance is available to us. This prepares us for the next step in which we must learn to be completely self-sustaining at a time when the world seems to have  turned its’ back on us.   

It is needful that we bear the weight of our cross alone, finding the courage and strength within ourselves to survive this deeply painful time, because, just when we think things can’t get worse, comes our Crucifixion. Now we have to endure accusations, criticisms, insults, betrayal, abandonment: more wounding. We finally begin to understand what it means to suffer and to be alone in our suffering. 

Our Crucifixion is a Huge Test of  Our Spiritual Strength.

Our Crucifixion is a huge test of our spiritual strength; it can be a crucifixion by physical pain or bad health,  or it can take the form of financial difficulties, the loss of our home or job,  or anything that causes us enough suffering that will cause us to let go of the idea that our ego is a wise leader and we should listen to it because it knows how to lead us towards safety and joy.  It doesn’t, it  knows nothing and it misleads us. When we fully recognize this truth we will turn away from listening to our ego and look to spirit for guidance and leadership. 

 Whatever the external form or nature of our Crucifixion, however, it is that time in our spiritual journey when we finally learn to be Masters: to remain steady in the face of whatever other people, or life, throws at us. We learn not to retaliate in kind, from our lower self. Eventually, we discover that whatever emotional weaknesses we once possessed,  we have finally overcome them. 

We Overcome Our Emotional Weaknesses, Fears,  Illusions and Delusions.

These weaknesses can be emotional dependencies on other people, or on some form of external approval or support. We will also have released fears, and/or illusions or delusions about ourselves, other people or the world, and any mistaken beliefs, conditioning or “lies” that have held us back, kept us unhappy, and believing in our powerlessness and our “deficiencies” of character.  In other words, during this time we will overcome all of the conditioning, fears, character flaws and limiting beliefs that have prevented us from fully expressing our soul and being all that we can be. 

Resurrection.

When we emerge from the initiation, and it may have taken a while for our lower self to be transformed into a new, Higher Self that is under the guidance and leadership of Spirit -  this is our Resurrection. As our Higher Self, we have a fully developed and integrated personality that is a perfect instrument for our soul to express itself in the world and carry out our higher purpose: the work that only we are suited for because of our unique and particular experiences, talents and abilities. This work is our gift to the world and it truly fulfils us, it is our joy and our passion, and it is what we were born to do.

When we have undergone our own personal Resurrection, we are more Spirit infused, meaning we physically carry more Light, or Spirit, in our body. Consequently, we have a more conscious relationship with the Divine: we are more easily guided by Spirit and more aware of the divine plan for humanity, as well as understanding clearly our particular part in that plan. We are fledgling Spiritual Masters, having learned how to master our own lower-self, we are ready to learn how to be Masters of the Physical Plane and become powerful Co-Creators with the Divine. In addition, we are no longer identified with our lower, physical nature, but identify more with Spirit, our Divine nature. We are also fully prepared and ready for the next stage in our journey: our rebirth as the Divine Child, or Christ.

   *To be more specific, we already are Light, or Spirit, but we need to recognize and experience this truth for ourselves. The ego, which is a product of our conscious mind, has us convinced we are trapped inside a body, isolated from all that we see around us. The journey to enlightenment involves our seeing through these illusions, delusions and mistaken ideas and beliefs of the ego. Basically, we receive enlightenment when the light dawns on us about our true identity, ie. that we are consciousness (Spirit)  that expresses itself as Light.