First of all, thank you,  Enid,  for your appreciative comments on my article ”Addicted to Self-Improvement and/or  Self-Perfection.” I am so pleased you found the article enjoyable. It’s  great to know that that there are people out there who are actually reading my blog!  To find in addition that there are those of you who derive some benefit from my efforts gives me a great deal of joy and spurs me on.   So, thank you, thank you.  I  appreciate you taking the time  and effort to post your comment.

 Dropping Our Masks.

You are quite right, we do burden ourselves and others when we try ”to please, impress and perfect, etc. others.”  One of our most significant spiritual leaps is when we decide to  drop the masks we wear, worn in part in order to conceal what we consider are our human frailties and shortcomings,  and to present what we believe is a better- self, or “face,” to the world. (My series, “Quest For the Soul,” examines how  and why we  manufacture these false-selves, or masks. ) Our task, as we journey towards wholeness and enlightenment, is to become aware of these masks,  and,  learn how to let them go.  

We wear masks, of course, because we are ashamed of who we really are,  believing that others will reject us or judge us as unworthy if we reveal our true selves. Yet, when we do set aside our masks and reveal our vulnerabilities, insecurities, faults and fears, people usually warm to us  and in turn drop their masks. It is as if,  by being our true selves,  we give them pemission  and space to be their true selves also.

Even so,  it takes courage to drop our masks. It’s often safer and easier to hide behind  a veneer of perfection, competence,  success,  or strength, or whatever  impression we’re trying to give others about who we are.   While it may be completely appropriate to wear a mask in professional  situations, if we never allow our masks to slip, even in  our close personal relationships and friendships, it’s as if we have rejected and abandoned our genuine self and asked a stranger to take our place.  This is an act of betrayal towards the self, an abandonment of the self.

Our Mirrors.

This rejection and abandonment of our real self has serious consequences, because our most important relationship is the one we have with our self, it is the foundation for every other realtionship we have had,  have now, and will ever have. Basically,  if we can’t accept ourselves as we truly are, then neither will anyone else, simply because  everyone we meet will mirror the relationship we have with our self,  back to us.

So,  if someone rejects us, it’s because we are in some way, shape or form, rejecting our self, or,  we are rejecting an aspect of our self.  If someone betrays us,  it’s because  we aren’t being true to our self: we have betrayed our self, first.  If we abandon our self, by not being there for our self, by not standing up for our self, by wanting to change our self, by wanting to “be” another self, then we  will experience this exact same  treatment from other people  over and over again until we finally get the message: to love and accept who we are without conditions, reservations or qualification, and to always, always, be there for you.

It’s a simple rule, if we are true to and supportive and accepting of our self, then other people will be true, supportive and accepting of us.

The One Self.

Everyone reflects what we think and believe about our self because, contrary to appearances,  there is only One Self,  and we are all  part of this One Self. This is what we are all here to learn and experience for ourselves: the truth of the Unus Mundus, or One World, which is  experienced in the enlightened state ( see my article, “Finding Heaven . . .  Once Upon a Time.”)

It’s difficult initially to accept and understand that everyone is part of  One Self,  because appearances  tell us otherwise: it  appears that we live in a world where everyone is seperate, different, and  apart from us. 

Yet the appearance of things is an  illusion. We are all united at a level much deeper than appearances suggest. We are also all united with the world, with Creation, although, again, appearances show quite the opposite:  it looks as if the world is quite separate and apart from us.

In fact, just as other people reflect our ideas and thoughts back to us, so does the entire physical world. It reflects  our beliefs, expectations, attitudes and thoughts  about life and the world back to us so that we can experience them all as “our life.” 

So, If we expect good things from life, then this is what we’ll experience. If we believe life is harsh, that too is what we’ll  experience. If you want to change anything about your life, therefore,  you have to imagine things are different, you have to imagine everything is already perfect for you.

If you’re in any doubt about what I’ve just written  start to live as if  it’s true, and you’ll find life starts to be a lot more comprehensible and easier to manage, although you will need to start thinking in a completely new way if you really want to get a handle on how life works: sort of a back to front way.

Conscious Creating.

Start to think of yourself as a conscious creator of your life and experience, instead of just waiting passively for things to happen.  Think  of yourself as being completely lovable and adorable, for example. Keep this up for a week, and depending on how much time and energy you’ve invested in thinking about yourself in this way, you’ll start to notice that other people start reflecting your new thoughts about yourself back to you. Within a few days you’ll  actually begin to experience life as an adorable, lovable person.  

Be Aware of the Mirror Effect.

Try to keep in mind that everything and everyone is reflecting your thoughts and beliefs back to you. If  life is giving you a hard time, for example,   it’s because you think life gives you a hard time! Get it? Start thinking in terms of the mirror effect: think about how easy life is, how much fun, how much you are enjoying it. Keep these thoughts up and watch your life change. Fall back into your “old” pattern of thinking and your life will reflect it.

                                                                                 Don’t Forget Your Loved Ones.

You can also do  a lot for your loved ones by consciously holding certain thoughts and feelings about them. The best advice I can give you is to feel happy about them, and when you think about them, hold thoughts which reflect their happiness, health and well-being.  

Try to resist the temptation to manipulate  events  by being too specific about what you want them to experience, as you may be robbing them of important life lessons.  Also, you may be serving your own ego- needs and desires for them, rather than what they want and need -  you don’t want to interfere in their spiritual growth and evolution.

For example, try not to imagine your son is a fabulously talented footballer unless it’s obvious he’s got great potential in that area  and it’s what he wants, and always ask your child’s/ partner’s/ loved one’s, permission first,  before you attempt to  ”help”  him or her in any way. As I said, the best advice I can give you is to see (imagine) your loved ones, happy, safe,  thriving, and successfully doing what they themselves love and long to do.

 Having said that, there’s no reason why you can’t imagine yourself earning lots of money and doing your dream job if that’s what you truly want!

It is  worth remembering, however,  that in order to become a  fully, spiritually  awakened individual,  you will need to set aside your  interest in manipulating events to suit yourself ( your ego) to become  a fully-fledged co-creator with the Universe ( or the Divine, if you prefer. ) This means that you have moved beyond placing an emphasis on personal, ego-goals such as worldly success and wealth etc, and  are happy to concentrate on the Divine plan for humanity, which is the decision to assist in humanity’s progress and evolution.

This doesn’t mean that you won’t be successful, by the way, it just means that service to others is your main priority. Don’t worry, however,  if you just want to help yourself and your loved ones for the present. It’s quite natural that you would want to do this and it’s how most of us start learning about our creative power and how best to use it.

Anyway, good luck being a conscious creator of your life. I’ll have a lot more to say in the future about this, and will probably set up a new category which focuses completely on manifesting and creating.